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thanks bruce

Ah. Ahhhhhhh. They are gone (me crazy mother and me drunk brother). Oz has got my flip-flops on his hands and is growling his way around the room. Funny kid.

It was a tense visit. Jeff stayed away for much of it and I don't blame him. But damn, was that exhausting and hard--I tried to keep it light and fun, but these two are just not fun. They are both profoundly and clinically depressed. At least Dan has medication--though the drink cancels them out. My mom, though. Her darkness is so deep and bleak it feels catching.

My favorite Bonnie Prince Billy song is on. This part:

Through the window I could see
the fields and clouds all passing
as in the passenger position
Eleanor was thrashing
I stopped the car we got a beer
and then eased down the road
a little guilt, and some guilt spilt
and added to our load.

I had to capitalize parts of that. I hate uncapitalized "I"s. Except for e.e. cummings and even then sometimes.

I just saw my youngest brother's myspace page. That, my friends, is something I did not need to see. Gah.

The babe is down for a nap? The night? Everything is so fucked up, re: Ossie's sleep habits, so I have no idea. I should go to sleep right now. It may be my only chance. I wish I didn't have to focus so on his damned sleep schedule. I hate listening to other folks go on and on about their babies' sleep habits. But damnalamn y'all. I haven't slept for more than an hour straight in about two weeks. 6 hours of completely interrupted sleep really doesn't work for me.

The end of that.

This is very shallow of me (and, I fear, what part of this entry is not shallow?), but hearing today that Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa are not, in fact, breaking up has actually completely turned my bleak mood around. I got down in the dumps when I heard they were, and I quote, living completely separate lives (unquote). And then I had the Greg Brown lyrics running throug my head "even the longest love don't last very long." But no more! They still love each other! Which means, of course, (you see how shallow?) that we will be ok over here too.

6:06 p.m. - 2006-08-29

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