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trying to grade

I'm pumping right now. This is what I do every day some time between noon and one. Pump pump pump. I hate it and I hate worrying about Ossie's milk. I wish I could make all of the people who give him milk during the day (Jeff, the various and sundry daycare workers who all seem to change from day to day even though we were told they wouldn't which makes me hate daycare even more than I already was hating it) understand how not-easy and not-fun pumping is. So they could be a little more conservative with the bottle wielding, I guess.

Feeling low today. I have piles upon piles of grading to do (virtual piles, actually, since this is for two online courses). I feel bad about the wedding of two ex-friends--or rather, I feel bad about how I heard about the wedding of two ex-friends. I wish I could have heard about directly. I feel lonely seeing all the pictures of people I used to be friends with but am not anymore. I also feel self-righteous about the whole thing which is just ridiculous and horrible.

I think we should move. We've been wanting to move for so long now. Years. And still we have not. I want Jeff to create an extremely successful and lucrative business so that I can a.) take my baby out of daycare, b.) have more babies, and c.)have both a city house and a country house. Isn't that horrible and bourgeois? I hate myself for wanting such a middle class life. But I still want it.

Best stop wallowing over here. Must grade.

12:31 p.m. - 2006-09-07

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